Stop Visiting, Stop Thinking
by SarahShalomDavid
Summary: Miranda looked up at the dark-haired woman and smiled sadly before shaking her head lightly, "You have to stop visiting", she said quietly as more tears streamed down her cheeks, it was clear that it was not what she actually wanted because what she wanted was for the woman to stay with her forever and never ever leave her side but that would not be possible. *MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH


Both Caroline and Cassidy were at their father's for the week as they were spending his birthday with him. The plan was that they would be going to stay at his vacation home in Vermont for the time that they were with him.

Meanwhile, in New York, Miranda was sat on her sofa in her grey cashmere bathrobe without any of the makeup or hairspray that transformed her into Miranda Priestly; Editor-in-Chief of Runway magazine. It was chilly outside as it had begun to rain and the raindrops were slamming into the glass windows heavily whilst the rest of the house was in silence other than the occasional sniffle that came from the white-haired woman.

Salty tears ran down her soft cheeks but she did not bother to wipe them away from her skin. Instead, she rested her head on her hand as she leaned on the arm of the sofa, briefly closing her eyes before looking at the photo that sat in her lap. She ran a singular finger over the face in the photo and sighed heavily, "I miss you, Andrea", she whispered to the printed photograph.

It was a photo that had been taken at the MET gala, well it was an edited version as the woman had zoomed in when she was making a copy of the photograph. Originally it had been a shot that was focused on Miranda herself but she noticed the look that Andrea was giving her so she zoomed in and printed a close-up of the two of them together. Andrea was clearly unaware of the camera taking their photo and so her focus was on Miranda. The soft smile on her face and the look of love in her eyes said it all.

"I love you, my Andrea", she whispered broken-heartedly before shivering and tugging her robe tighter around her.

Andrea smiled, her figure paler than what anyone would expect a human being to be, "I love you too", the woman whispered in return, "I always did and I always will".

Miranda looked up at the dark-haired woman and smiled sadly before shaking her head lightly, "You have to stop visiting", she said quietly as more tears streamed down her cheeks, it was clear that it was not what she actually wanted because what she wanted was for the woman to stay with her forever and never ever leave her side but that would not be possible.

Her ex-assistant sat down on the sofa beside her and gave her a small smile with tear-filled eyes, "I can't do that Miranda", she replied, "I can't unless you stop thinking about me".

"Impossible", Miranda almost snapped in response as she looked away before looking down at the photo that remained in her lap, "I can't do that". "I can't stop thinking about you, Andrea", she admitted as she looked back up at the woman beside her, "I love you so much and yet I never got the chance to tell you".

"You're telling me now", Andrea highlighted, "You have told me many times since and you told me many times before with your actions, Miranda". "I love you too, so very much", she continued.

"But I should have told you when I had the chance to hold you in my arms, when I had the chance to make…", her voice hitched slightly as she spoke, "...love to you, to ask you… to marry me and spend the rest of our lives together".

"And I wish I had told you too but we can't change the past", Andrea replied sadly.

Miranda sighed and watched the other woman for a moment, the pain in her heart was unbearable, "You have to stop visiting though, Andrea", she repeated in a whisper, "It gets harder and harder to let go every time". "I want you to stay forever", Miranda admitted, "I want you back… I need you".

"Like I said Miranda", Andrea said clearly but softly, "You have to stop thinking about me". "Everytime you think of me like you are now, your heart calls out to me", she explained, "It pulls me to you and so I can't simply not come to you when you need me".

Miranda shook her head, "I can't…", she admitted brokenly, "I can't do that".

" _You thought I didn't know. I've known what was happening for quite some time. It just took me a little while to find a suitable alternative for Jacqueline. And that James Holt job was just so absurdly overpaid that of course she jumped at it. So I just had to tell Irv that Jacqueline was unavailable", Miranda said in her usual quiet manner as they sat in the towncar that was travelling through the streets of Paris on the way to the next scheduled event. "Truth is", she continued, pausing for a moment, "There's no one that can do what I do. Including her. Any of the other choices would have found that job impossible and the magazine would have suffered"._

" _Especially because of the list", Miranda explained, which was something that she never ever did, not even did she explain anything to her ex-husbands during their marriages, "The list of designers, photographers, editors, writers, models, all of whom were found by me, nurtured by me and have promised me they will follow me whenever and if ever I choose to leave Runway. So he reconsidered. But I was very very impressed by how intently you tried to warn me", she did not want to admit that it made her heart flutter with hope, a hope that in her mind was pointless and ridiculous because why an earth would Andrea truly care?_

" _I never thought I would say this, Andrea, but I really, I see a great deal of myself in you. You can see beyond what people want, and what they need and you can choose for yourself", As her speech came to a close she looked out of the window, unsure of what she would see if she were to face Andrea as she was unsure as to whether or not the other woman would see it as the compliment that it was supposed to be._

 _Andrea shook her head as she looked at Miranda, "I don't think I'm like that. I couldn't do what you did to Nigel, Miranda. I couldn't do something like that", she replied, adamant that she would not do it and also clearly missing what Miranda had been trying to say. It was clear that Andrea had taken what Miranda had said negatively rather than the positive way that it had initially been intended when the Editor-in-Chief had spoken the words._

 _Miranda raised an eyebrow as she looked over at the woman, she was disappointed that the woman had taken it in that way but she went with it despite wanting to correct her, "You already did", she said but then paused before continuing, "To Emily"._

 _The image of Emily in the hospital room shovelling a pudding cup into her mouth flashed before her eyes and she internally cringed, she knew that it was true but did not want to face that fact. The guilt turned her response into denial, "That's not what I... no, that was different. I didn't have a choice", she said as she shook her head with a pain in her chest that told her it was true but then again it was not for any career gain that she went on the trip, she went because Miranda wanted her to and she wanted to spend more time with Miranda. She knew, however, that dreams of a romantic dinner up the Eiffel Tower or a romantic cruise along the Seine or a romantic anything was out of the picture but she could dream._

" _No", Miranda responded with a shake of her head, "no, you chose". "You chose to get ahead", she stated simply, "You want this life. Those choices are necessary"_

" _What if this isn't the life that I want?", Andrea questioned._

" _Oh, don't be ridiculous. Andrea. Everybody wants this. Everybody wants to be us", she said before she got out of the car._

" _I don't", Andrea admitted, thinking the Miranda would not be able to hear her as she herself got out of the car on her own side, "I would rather be with you than to be you"._

 _As Andrea turned away from the car in the opposite direction of the venue, Miranda turned to look at her with an expression of shock on her face._

 _The younger woman took a few steps away before Miranda called out, "Andrea!"._

 _Andrea spun around to face the Editor-in-Chief but as she did a car had sped down the street and all that the dark-haired woman heard before the car hit her was the scream of the woman in front of her._

 _The press who had been shooting multiple shots that were unnecessary seemed to freeze, uncertain of how to continue._

 _The bang echoed throughout the streets and the screech sounded as the Navy Blue car sped off after the impact. Andrea's body hit the ground with force as it had been flung into the air by the front of the car. Her head and right shoulder hit the hard ground first before the rest of her body flopped down into a prone position, sprawled on the floor of the street._

 _Miranda ran forward, not caring about the possibility of any other car coming in their direction and only caring about the woman that now lay on the ground in front of her, "Andrea!", she screamed out again as the pain in her voice became more obvious. Before the shout had been because she did not want the younger woman to leave her but now it was because she did not want her to leave her in a completely different manner._

 _Security had called an ambulance and the press had respectfully put their cameras down whilst the security made a barrier around the women. Two of the security members who were first aid trained had stepped forward to help but without a pulse and with visible bleeding from the head, it was clear that there was nothing that they could do._

 _All they could do was watch on as Miranda Priestly, the usually poised and well-presented Editor-in-Chief of the world's leading fashion magazine knelt on the ground and clutched the woman to her chest, rocking her body, and sobbing into her hair. Her tights were torn, her makeup was gradually being washed away by the tears, and blood was starting to soak her clothing as well as her skin. "Come back", she whispered brokenly, "Please, I love you, just come back". "You can do anything remember?", the woman pleaded quietly, "So come back to me, my love"._

 _Those around them could only watch on in horror as it all unfolded in front of them and the woman fell apart._

"Then, I shall always visit, my love", the angelic woman whispered as she put her light hand against Miranda's cheek to try and touch it as best as she could but she had to focus on the touch heavily in order to allow the other woman to feel it.


End file.
